A very sinister enemy has arisen over the past few years that is robbing our men of their ability to put on footwear that actually qualifies as a real shoe. Flip flops, Crocs, and the like, are taking over as the common footwear among men. They are showing up now at church, weddings, work, between the months of October and April, and with jeans. This is sad and alarming.
I would like to apologize on behalf of the men that have fallen victim to these crafty adversaries of fashion and hygiene. They have been deceived and manipulated into donning these abominations in so many inappropriate places and times. My greatest hope is that we can turn this tragic situation around and save what little bit of fashion sense remains among our men. Be strong friends. Do not lose heart. There is still hope.